We Regret Your Baby's Name As Well

Here’s a little sentence that requires no real explanation: “At the age of eight months, Presley’s parents started calling her Summer.” Speaks volumes, doesn’t it? “It took six visits to civil court but now the government calls her that too,” explains the Times, in this little bit on regretting the wacko name you gave your baby. What did you ever expect? But this at least is an interesting age, in which nearly all always-popular names are less popular than ever, due to diversity in naming choice-due to our love of fun! And our worship of individuality, etc. This points us, of course, to the extreme rise and serious downfall of “Paris.” Just like “Ashley” and “Gingerly,” now Paris is totally a whorey name-and you don’t want your kindergarten teacher to think you’re raising an adorable little stripper.