UK General Election To End Stabbingly

Knifecrime Island Stabber-In-Chief Gordon “One-Eye” Brown went off to the Queen for her permission to dissolve Parliament, and now the elections are on for May 6. Most are predicting a hung Parliament (you can learn what that means here!), and it’s not unlikely that the Conservatives will win a narrow majority; also, they are running on a platform of “hope” and “change.” (That means something different in England, though, since they’re already a socialist monarchy.) The English are excited, of course: “Quick! Gordon Brown is in Kent! Lets go raid his fridge!!” is how the kinder Twitters are going. (Fridge is slang for “face” and raid is slang for “stab.”)