Tao of Dow: Nike Exploits Earl Woods, Toonces, Orville Redenbacher

by Simon Dumenco

The Awl’s Morning Market Report:

•The Dow Jones Industrial Average slipped again this morning after yesterday’s disappointing close (at 10945, down 26 points for the day) as investors expressed reservations about Nike’s puzzling new Tiger Woods commercial, which features Tiger’s dead father Earl in a vaguely judgmental voiceover while the embattled golfer sits silently in the passenger seat of a car driven by Toonces the Driving Cat, who swerves to avoid a reanimated Orville Redenbacher, before hitting a tree in front of Woods’ home.
• The Nasdaq is flat this morning as investors debated the look Woods has on his face in the Nike spot. Some analysts maintain that it conveys something along the lines of “Hold you down while I choke you,” while others read it as “TOONCES, LOOK OUT!!!!!!”