New Study Links Fun With Death

The four bad habits that will kill you faster, according to a study of about 5000 British people, are smoking, drinking, lack of exercise, and not eating enough fruits and vegetables. These, not coincidentally, are four of the great thrills of adulthood, frequently enjoyed in tandem, but nevertheless: “The healthiest group included never-smokers and those who had quit; teetotalers, women who had fewer than two drinks daily and men who had fewer than three; those who got at least two hours of physical activity weekly; and those who ate fruits and vegetables at least three times daily.” The study claims that the Big Four can age you by 12 years in comparison with the goody-goody vegetable-eating joggers, but, as we so frequently point out in this space, a decade is a small price to pay for not having to worry about a gym membership or a day faced sober. I can live with these odds, even if I won’t live quite as long.