Drill Farther, Baby

Oh, the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, it is much bigger than anyone thought it was! The exploded oil rig has, it turns out, three leaks, and is spewing out five times as much oil as previously thought, as much as 5000 barrels a day, though the Coast Guard (the socialist government protectorate) and the rig’s operator (fine American company British Petroleum) do not at all agree as to how much oil is beneath the hundred mile long oil slick. What lessons are we learning? Bipartisanship! Gulf coast Republicans and Democrats politicans are coming together; they have sent a letter to the president, asking him to change the administration’s pro-offshore drilling plans, and asking him to set a 125-mile oil rig off-shore boundary. They do not understand that the End of Days is upon us, and the planet is ours to husband and harvest!