Donnie Wahlberg is Making "Humps" Happen

Breaking news: THE PUFFY FORMER BOY-BANDER AND SOMETIME ACTOR IS INVENTING A NEW SOCIAL CURRENCY. I’m so scared. I don’t know. It seems to have started with this plea on, where else, Twitter: “Its so hot in the city!!!!!!!!! I’m sweating!!!!! Somebody HUMP the sh*t out of me!!!!!!” Which…??? And now?

This is the kind of labor you have to perform to stay famous now. It’s nuts. I have to wonder about his labor value, on an hourly rate; entertaining and/or sexing up random strangers on Twitter: is it worth more than, like, actually working? It might be! Is this what I should be doing? Would it be profitable for my brand?