Being Dead Probably The Only Thing To Make Air Travel Tolerable These Days

“She told me that he was elderly and frail and also very tired, so I would have to lift him out of the taxi and into the wheelchair. I immediately felt unsure about the situation but I did my best to help by carefully lifting the man from his seat. To my horror his face fell sideways against mine — it was ice cold. I knew straight away that the man was dead but they reassured me that he always sleeps like that. So I placed the body into the wheelchair and pushed the man to the back of the easyJet queue.”
-Andrew Millea, a worker at John Lennon Airport in Liverpool, reports the instructions given by the widow and stepdaughter of Curt Willi Jarant, who were arrested after they tried to sneak Jarant’s dead body onto an easyJet flight to Berlin. No word yet on whether easyJet plans to institute corpse-handling fees, but that is one airline surcharge I could probably get behind.