To Whom Are all These People Talking on Their Phones?

Hey now, really, to whom are all these people talking on their phones, all the time, behind the wheel, and in these stores and behind me and even in more improbable places, such as at the pedicurist’s? Are you on the phone that much? Do you people not have text messages or something? I personally have answered my phone to only two people in the last sixteen days, and then I don’t know who the rest of these people are (sorry, I don’t know what the numbers are, and their attending people), and so I let it go to voicemail, except I keep my voicemail full, because I don’t want any more voicemails. The voicemails I already have aren’t doing much for me really. And is there some kind of phone that is just like, text and web and email and stupid apps but no actual telephone system? (Maybe just an emergency dial out thing? You know, for when I’m… hiking. And there are bears. (??)) But that wasn’t what I was writing to say. My actual question was: is it appropriate for a man in his mid-late 30s to put “Telephone” on said outgoing voicemail, which then is followed by the phone company voice saying “Sorry, this voicemail box is full?” Today I might need a few cheap laughs like that. I might actually sit and stare at my phone and dare it to ring all day long.