The Coyote's Guide To New York Living

So it looks like the coyotes are here to stay. This video was filmed three weeks ago at “The Pond” in the southeast corner of Central Park. When the car lights pass it’s like that scene from Collateral, right? After this week’s exciting chase through Chelsea, Paul D. Curtis, Cornell University associate professor of Natural Resources talked to Discovery’s Jennifer Viegas about it. “Coyotes have been in Central Park in the past, and will continue to appear in such urban parks and green spaces throughout most of New York State,” Curtis said. “People will need to find ways to coexist with urban wildlife to minimize potential conflicts and concerns.”

Okay, so, coyotes, a couple of ground rules and some advice:

1) No howling after ten. (That’s not the moon you’re looking, anyway. It’s the jumbotron in Times Square.)

2) If you think a vole is tough, the rats here will kick your sniveling, wanna-be-wolf ass all the way back to Yellowstone. Seriously. Ask Nas. You don’t want it.

3) Don’t try to nose out into the crosswalk when you’re trying to turn. That’s pedestrian territory. HUMAN pedestrian territory.

4) The honey-roasted peanuts at the street carts never taste as good as they smell. You’ll probably still buy them anyway, I always do. But, just so you know.

5) I don’t recommend going to Coyote Ugly. It isn’t nearly as much like Cocktail as the movie made it seem. But, hey, if a bunch of bridge-and-tunnel dudes in bad suits doing upside-down margarita shots is your thing, knock yourself out. Just don’t surprised if you end up wanting to chew your own foot off in the morning.

6) No regrets, we just come from such different sets of circumstances.