New iPhone App Adds All The Excitement Of Exercise And Number Crunching To Fucking

This one’s from the Sun, so take its origin story with a grain of salt, but anyway:”A WOMAN desperate to get her lazy boyfriend to exercise has invented an iPhone app that measures how many calories you burn off having sex. The 59p download, called the Bedometer, analyses the time and intensity of each romp…. The gizmo is put on the bed and measures raunchy activity using the iPhone or iPod Touch’s motion sensor before adding up the calories.” Listen, ladies, I don’t care how badly you want your boyfriend to exercise: If he’s only willing to have sex with you when there’s an iPhone alongside you in the bed, something is very, very wrong.