Everything Is Contaminated

Here we go: “U.S. food regulators announced a voluntary recall on Thursday of food made with a common flavoring that could be contaminated with salmonella bacteria but did not estimate how broad the recall will be.” The flavoring is hydrolyzed vegetable protein, and since pretty much everything we eat in America today is made in a lab and full of artificial compounds that could probably just as well be used as defoliants or paint thinner, I would imagine every single thing in your kitchen cabinet is riddled with salmonella right now. On the plus side, you’ve filled yourself with so much crap over the years that unless you are super-old or super-young, you’ve probably developed some kind of immunity to salmonella by now. Hell, you probably like the taste of salmonella. It’s got a ton of umami. Anyway, forewarned is forearmed and all that.