Come For The Swine Flu, Stay For The Sperm

For some reason this medical segment from the local news is ridiculously amusing to me. Swine flu is back! Aren’tcha sick of hearing about it? Multivitamins will give you breast cancer! But who knows why? If you drink more than a gallon of soda a day you’re going to damage your sperm, and if you are able to ejaculate it will be 90% Mountain Dew! But that may have something to do with the fact that people who don’t guzzle Jolt at all hours have healthier lifestyles than Coke-swigging Johnny No Sperm. We’re not sure! Back to you!