America's Endless Eggo Shortage Still a Very Quiet Crisis

I did not know there was a shortage of Eggos in America, but I would imagine this means huge swaths of the country are starving, unable to procure their own salt-sugar cardboard products as a replacement. Apparently this has been going on since November, when two of the nation’s four Eggo plants shut down. (At one, in Atlanta, an employee was touching his mustache and then not washing his hands. Eww, your Eggos have mustache in them!) In any event, as this picture clearly shows, not all the existing Eggos have been consumed in America yet, despite hilarious signs to the contrary, so I guess run out and get your mustache-hair breakfast products. (Though really, what “inconvenience” could said shortage really cause? The inconvenience of not eating GARBAGE?)