Someone Might Say "Only In New York" About This One

Someone Might Say “Only In New York” About This One

Here’s something you don’t hear every day: There’s a great story about Jews in the sports section. In what might come as less of a surprise, it’s about the lead bond lawyer for the financing of Yankee stadium, who happens to be a Jew. His name is Jonathan Ballan. As the Times reports, Ballan “reserved the stadium for his son’s bar mitzvah on Saturday, June 5. In addition to providing lounges, the Yankees promised to give the Ballan party access to the stadium’s giant scoreboard in center field for 30 minutes.” (No word on whether Jay-Z and Alecia Keys will perform “Empire State of Mind” and “Hava Nagilla,” but one would think it’s a possibility.) Unfortunately the Yankees are now in negotiations with boxing promoter Bob Arum to hold a major bout in the stadium that same night-one which would draw some 30,000 fans to watch the World Boxing Federation’s 154-pound champ Yuri Foreman-who happens to be an observant Jew!-fight Miguel Cotto (a shaygetz). So the three parties have to work it out. “The price of the bar mitzvah is at issue,” Arum told the Times. You don’t say.

One possible solution is that the bar mitzvah still be held in the lounges, while the bout takes place on the field. But of course, the Ballans would have give up use of the scoreboard. Foreman has offered to meet the bar mitzvah boy in his locker room before the fight. The Yankees would give the kid and his friends autographed baseballs. And Arum has offered all the bar mitzvah guests free seats for the fight.

So okay, here’s what Ballan should do: Take the offer of the free seats for the fight. But then just expand the bar mitzvah guest list a little, say to, up around 25,000 guests. And maybe let it be known that for this particular celebration of a Jewish boy’s passage into manhood, the family is expecting presents slightly more generous than the traditional $36 gift certificate to J&R; Music World. Nothing unethical, mind you. But, you know, if you use your yiddishe kop a little bit, you can maybe figure out a way to turn a nice profit out of the situation. Fershtay?