A Sports Team Won A Sports Trophy Last Night And People Were Happy

I was once again struck by the complete absurdity of sports fandom last evening when I heard someone behind me (actually, it was Awl pal Meghan Keane) saying, “I think that’s the most excited I’ve ever seen Alex Balk in my life.”

Tracy Porter had just intercepted the ball, essentially ending the game and giving the New Orleans Saints their first ever Super Bowl championship, and I had performed a vertical leap which was astounding both because of my lack of agility and the extremely rare display of emotion expressed therein. I say “extremely rare,” but the fact is I was not very far removed from a massive and embarrassing display of fist pumping (I know) when the 2-point conversion was ruled valid a few plays earlier.

And that’s the thing. It is completely illogical for most people to get so animated about a sporting event, even one as COMPLETELY AMAZING as this was. I had no money on the game. I am not a resident of New Orleans. I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Saints organization. But in those moments-and even still right now, although that may have more to do with the fact that a significant amount of alcohol remains in my bloodstream-there was absolutely NOTHING ON EARTH that was more exciting. Hopefully we all have something in our lives that can occasionally give us those sharp bursts of pure joy. I guess it is harmless enough that there’s no reason to be ashamed of it, but, yeah, I was pretty much a kid for the entire second half (I was a regular foul-mouthed adult during the first half.) When you think of the ridiculous lengths people go to to celebrate an event like this-hell, look at the ridiculous lengths people go to just for the ads-you have to believe there’s some larger, animating purpose to it.

But who knows? Maybe I’m just another schmuck. That said, there’s is no happier schmuck this morning than I. Except maybe for the guys who actually played the game. Probably.

[Oh, yeah, right, a deal’s a deal. Kim Kardashian, will you marry me? Don’t worry about hurting my feelings if your answer is no. I’m just SO DAMN HAPPY.]