You're Damn Right There's A G-Spot

Ya hear about that study out of Kings College London which claims that there’s no such thing as “the G-spot”? “The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it.” Lemme tell ya something, ladies: That study is bunk.

Here’s the deal: Not only does the G-spot exist, it is very easily found. What the researchers failed to note, perhaps because they didn’t ask the right people, is that there are certain folks who are WAY BETTER at finding it than others. And you know who I’m talking about. A study conducted over a period of several years by me shows that when the G-spot explorer comes from a certain cluster of categories-ethnically both Italian and Jewish, quick with a deprecatory remark, displaying a remarkable ability to turn any bit of faux-scientific news into material for a blogpost no matter how hackneyed the joke, 5’9″, piercing brown eyes, dark-complected, of depressive tendencies, showing little regard for fashion or ironing, averse to exercise, jittery and dyspeptic-there is 100% success in G-spot location, often several times in the same session. That’s right, I got yer magic G-spot finder RIGHT HERE. [Clutches crotch.] Thank you for your attention.