Waiting for Erykah Badu

Seth Colter Walls: Do you have your stream-capture program of choice fired up and set to tap into Firefox for the new Erykah Badu track release? Update: Finally up!
Choire Sicha: Hello, Wire Tap Studio.
Seth: Pfft.
Choire: That shit WORKS, dog.
Seth: Audio Hijack all the way.
Choire: Sigh. Is she tardy? Is it 3:33p.m. yet? Or is she in another time zone? Seth, I have a question. Is there a Straight White Man Time? Is it like… the real time?
Seth: Huh?
Choire: Well you know. Drag Queen Time is like, “25 minutes late, if you’re lucky.” And Colored People Time is “Um, what? I’m supposed to be where?” So what’s Straight White Man Time?
Seth: http://time.gov/timezone.cgi?Eastern/d/-5/java
Choire: Ah. All punctual and shit. Huh.
Seth: But for the record, I think all people have one time. I don’t want any part of your ugly weekend inbox accusation party.
Choire: Oh puhlease.
Choire: Also, you know Badu’s like, “Hold on, Mars is nursing, I’ll upload this shit when I feel it astrologically.”
Seth: Well, let’s posit it this way:
Seth: Delays could occur because the suits (mostly white) at Universal are asking Badu and her managers: WTF?
Choire: Don’t you think they gave up on that about two years ago though?
Seth: It’s not clear that the chain of corporate command on this record is entirely, um, adhered to at all times.
Choire: I would love to see her as a home industry. Just having fun and BEING MAGICAL.
Seth: But these home industries really don’t work well. (See: Prince)
Choire: They must now. (See: Kristin Hersh, Trent Reznor.)
Seth: Nope.
Choire: No, actually, LET ME MANSPLAIN IT TO YOU.
Seth: Trent had a good run, but then he had such a good run, he was all: peace out, imma go have some kids.
Choire: Yeah, and now he doesn’t make more than $2 million a year. I HOPE HE’S OKAY!!! Giving away all his music and clearing minimum a million a year.
Seth: Well, he learned that you can always sell a fetish object to your hardcores, even after they downloaded a copy for free.
Choire: Sure! Great!
Seth: But anyway. Universal Motown. They’re a good label.
Choire: True!
Seth: They did a really good job with the Q-Tip studio record, The Renaissance. After about 15 other labels spent the 00s dicking Kamaal around. And they also convinced everybody last year that that Kid Cudi trainwreck was a visionary work of art.
Choire: That went extremely well for them! I do not understand how.
Seth: So, as a label, I think they’ve got their business figured out as much as anyone. But still, on this record… Who are we kidding, though. We love that Badu is hard to deal with. We love it the same way we love how Prince is hard to deal with. Or Neil Young, for that matter.
Choire: 354,000 records sold for New Amerykah is not a bad thing for a label in the year of 2009. OH, BREAKING: moorishbrooklyn: @fatbellybella 3:33pm Eastern, Pacific, Central or melanin time?”
Choire: That is what I am talking about. (AUTORETWEET)
Seth: Um. Listen. Talk to Chris Matthews.
Choire: Oh please.
Seth: I have the feeling you’re going to be saying “oh please” to me a lot during this conversation.
Choire: Well, that’s par for the course. I will ladysplain some things to you though.
Seth: While we’re at this, why don’t you fill me in on the Badu personal life backstory. I’m a lame person who doesn’t keep up with the tabloids.
Choire: Well, she had some babies with different dudes?
Seth: What’s, as they say, the dealio?
Choire: I don’t even know. I can never tell whether she’s in Texas or Brooklyn or where most of the time. I mean, mostly she is just home with her almost-one-year-old.
Choire: And I have to say… there ought to be a Wikipedia lists of Women Solo Artists Who Put Out New Albums At The Same Time As Their Baby’s First Birthday. Disambiguation page NOT NEEDED.
Seth: All that I know I gleaned from “A Life in the Day of Andre Benjamin.”
Choire: Oh heyyy. Mmm, that was a nice break. You know, what’s to say? She’s actually sort of delightfully, perfectly public-private? Like: there’s a stage persona which is probably quite similar to her private persona and then there’s The Music.
Seth: Which is your favorite of the Music things?
Choire: Oh, gosh… obviously I loved the last one. I also love, as you do, Worldwide Underground. And the live one.
Seth: All of the albums are good I think, but I’m partial to Worldwide Underground, which is so…something. Effortless, jammy, abstract, hooky.
Choire: Right??? It’s really pretty. And analog-funny. And SUPER weed-smoking.
Seth: I think I agree, but define “analog-funny.”
Choire: Ummm. blippy, like a record. Like not all cleaned up.
Seth: Oh see, I ONLY have it on vinyl.
Choire: You are such a fag, for a straight guy.
Seth: Oh please.
Choire: WELL DONE!
Seth: Worldwide Underground is actually one of the things I took from my ex after the breakup last year. Sometimes you take a hoodie, sometimes you take a Badu LP.
Choire: I wish there was a hoodie that played Badu when you walked around in it.
Seth: Look for Deitch’s first exhibit in LA.
Choire: Those are two of my least-favorite proper nouns.
Seth: How much of a jerk are you going to feel like if the song pops up at 4:33 EST right on the button?
Choire: Um. Not at all?
Seth: You and your rando Twitter buddy might have to take it back.
Choire: It is not a problem. Me and Badu have a thing going on. A fundamentally funky thing.
Seth: Oh.
Choire: I don’t think she knows about this! I mean it’s not like she ever returns all my calls or letters or emails or candy hearts.
Seth: I didn’t have time to go through all the comments yesterday. What’s the difference between mansplaining and ladysplaining?
Choire: Someone needs to come up with a word for men who don’t listen. Also I just made up ladysplaining. You know what ladysplaining probably is? Saying something too subtly for the men to hear it.
Seth: Hm. NOT ALWAYS.
Choire: (I don’t ever do that, so I wouldn’t know.)
Seth: Also, everyone is basically late to everything, everywhere.
Choire: Not Waylon Jennings.
Choire: That fucker was PROMPT.
Seth: No, you did not just talk about outlaw country. Hey, did you know that the new recording of Magnus Lindberg’s “Chorale” is now available on eMusic? Now you do.
Choire: Oh wow. Actually, that’s cool!
Seth: Also, eMusic seems to have acquired the last bit of the Ondine catalog that they didn’t already have. Which means Arena 2/ Coyote Blues / Tendenza / Corrente are available, too.
Choire: OMG. She just posted
Choire: “3:33 PST erykahbadu.com 11 minutes ago from web.”
Choire: PST?? I’m about to get some PTSD.
Seth: Heh. And then everyone clicked “close tab.”
Seth: (See how I put the period inside, though?)
Choire: ❤ YOU! Seth: Wanna livechat the new Lindberg single?
Choire: You know, I just remembered I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood?

[SOME TIME PASSES]