TMZ Thinks the Epidemic of Prison Rape Is Hilarious

Dear TMZ,

Your recent email blast of this morning? The one headlined “TMZ EXCLUSIVE: Balloon Dad — Don’t Worry About Dropping Soap,” which begins “Richard Heene won’t have to worry about the “shower situation” in lockdown — TMZ has learned dude will get to shower alone”? This suggests that you require some forcible reeducation. (Particularly as you are an outfit with a gay man in charge.) We hereby sentence you to read the Human Rights Watch paper on prison rape and also to get, for the office, a guest speaker from Just Detention International. Here, you can read testimony from people who have been raped in prison. Also maybe you could donate to stop the epidemic of prison rape in juvenile facilities? Alternately, you could just not be evil, smirky shitheels.