Smoking Finally Better For You Than Something Else

Screwed either way

Good news, smokers: You are no longer the group whose disgusting habits put you at the most risk of disease and death! Nope, you’ve been overtaken by the fatties, whose potato-skin-guzzling ways “now cause as much or more disease than tobacco, and do as much or more to shorten healthy lifespans,” according to researchers. So maybe it’s time to amp up your smoking a bit: It’ll keep you thin, which basically means it’s totally healthy!