Smoking Baby Vexes Delicate British Sensibilities

The constabulary of Knifecrime Island are a busy lot, what with all the glassing and drunken yobbery. Still, there is plenty of other employment in which a felon can engage in that green and pleasant land. For instance: “A teenage mother was investigated by police after photographs of her six-month-old son with a cigarette in his mouth were posted on Facebook.” 18-year-old Rebecca Davey was grassed up by her friends, who saw the photo of Baby Ollie on her page. Still, all’s well that ends well.

Essex police visited Rebecca’s home in Southend, Essex, but said there were ‘no immediate concerns’ for the child’s welfare. Social services also made inquiries.

Rebecca then declared her love for her son, writing: ‘Why Would SomeOne Do That To Me U Ollie No was taking U Yur Mine for lyfee Darlinggg Mummy Loves You :)’

My mom didn’t let me smoke until I was 13. Clearly, this is a woman who does indeed love her child.