Revealed: Why We Drink

The government of Knifecrime Island, desperate to curtail the epidemic of drunkenness that so defines that nation’s blade-wielding denizens, has proposed a ban on cheap alcohol promotions in pubs. The Independent breaks it down for you with a helpful FAQ, which includes this groundbreaking answer to the eternal question of why people drink in the first place.

Academics and policymakers tend to ignore the positive effects of alcohol, but, anecdotally, they are: an increased sense of relaxation and bonhomie; greater sensory appreciation of music, colour, movement and conversation; increased social and community cohesion; increased likelihood of romantic liaisons and sexual intercourse (‘Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 1862’ is a T-shirt slogan).

Now you know!