Heoric British Firemen Liberate Todger From Steel Prison

“Afterwards, the patient was given an anaesthetic and although his willy was left bruised and swollen it was otherwise unharmed.”
–The Sun reports on a 30-minute operation in which seven firefighters used a grinder to help remove a man’s penis from the steel pipe in which it had become entombed. “The anxious man aged about 40 failed to explain how the pipe had become stuck,” says the paper, but we all know how easily these things happen.