Drunken Australians Can Turn Anything Into A Weapon

Paramedics on Prison Island are calling for a ban on pool cues and glass ashtrays in pubs to prevent attacks. The government of Queensland, Australia, had previously “banned glasses from some pubs and clubs to stop so-called ‘glassing’ attacks,” but enterprising assailants have simply turned to other tools at hand in their apparent war against ambulance workers, approximately 150 of whom were assaulted in the last year. While Queensland’s government has indicated that it is willing to consider further legislation, but local publicans are less convinced.

“I think if we’re going to start going down the path of banning pool cues and glass ash trays, we’ve really got to look at the credibility of our arguments here and what we’re trying to achieve,” says one. “Because are we going to then start asking females to not wear high-heeled stilettos? Are we going to ban bar stools and tables so we’re all standing around? And are we going to ask you to leave your keys outside the venue? To me, it’s absolutely absurd.”

I kind of love that he can immediately name all the other options with which one can abuse an emergency medical technician. They’re crafty, these people!