Dept. Of "Cannot Lie": Gigantic Asses Edition

The benefits of having a sizable posterior may be greatly exaggerated by those wishing to sell you buttock-enhancing products, says an expert: “[M]y fat ass has yet to usher me into the world of the big-bottomed celebrity elite. I haven’t figured out how to summon my ass weight in order to boost my confidence at home or in the workplace. I can’t say that anyone has ever looked at my ass and said, ‘Damn-that looks expensive.’”