Death Bear Confronted by Ex, Screaming Women, Panties

Remember how we told you, with great excitement, that Death Bear would be touring Brooklyn over the weekend? (Death Bear is a conceptual art project (OKAY) in which a fellow named Nate Hill dresses up as a big scary bear, comes to your house, and takes away objects that cause you pain or anxiety.) Apparently this did not end well. (Surprise?) Or it ended too well, when Death Bear ended up at the home of his own ex-lover. And was unable to take away her pain.

Near the end of a day visiting ten or so homes as the character I created Death Bear, (dressed in a black jumpsuit, black boots, a heavy, scary black bear mask, and carting off the objects that bring people pain), I was ambushed by one of my ex-girlfriends, Bailey Nolan aka Moan of Arc along with the performance art group she leads BabySkinGlove. That night, in the apartment, they did a performance intended only for Death Bear.

UM.

When we entered the apartment door, I thought it was a goth party or something. There was only candlelight, and the girl who led me inside had bloody gothic makeup on and a skirt like a vampire, but I didn’t recognize her in the dark as someone I knew. But once I was inside and the host (she goes by Birthday Sex) said to me in a psychotic nurse voice, “Hi Death Bear,” I knew something was wrong. Think surprise Death Party if that exists (and it should not!)

Did Death Bear end up in death? No, for he lived to blog about it.

They had staged some kind of vampire/witch seance…. What are those pictures over there on the wall? There’s panties all over the place.. what? I wanted to appreciate the makeup on their faces better. It looked good. They looked good. They looked sexy. I couldn’t do any of this because I was afraid to take my eyes off Bailey who had begun to cry and flail her arms wildly. Real tears? Then (I had to be told later) she took a knife and drove it into the box that she had for me.

Really the whole thing is worth a read. In short, however: Death Bear lives to retrieve pain (and break hearts) another day. Phew?