Alleged Fish-Poisoner Free To Strike Again

Sometimes the natives of Knifecrime Island like to mix it up a bit and eschew the bladework for which they have gained worldwide renown. Take the case of 19-year-old Chantelle Amies, accused of poisoning a neighbor’s three goldfish with bleach. In a staggering miscarriage of justice, Amies’ trial was dismissed on the grounds that there was no evidence.

Susanna Chowdhury, prosecuting, said Amies’ fingerprints had been found on a bottle of bleach in the house and on the fish tank.

But the court was told that although water in the fish tank had been taken by police they had not sent it away for analysis because it would cost too much money.

Philip Farr, defending, said they could not prove there had been bleach in the tank or whether the fish had been killed by bleach.

The prosecution called three witnesses to say they had smelled bleach in the fish tank.

But as no-one had seen what happened, the case collapsed.

Hahaha, you don’t say. Anyway, it’s nice to have a frivolous little “crime” story coming out of Britain; the more serious ones can be pretty tough to take.