Karen Hughes and Mark Penn Claim They're Out of the "Just Making Stuff Up" Business

An exciting and phenomenally unintelligible press release went out this morning from Burson-Marsteller, the challenged PR and lobbying outfit that represented Blackwater, Colombia, Argentina and Union Carbide, as well as other extremely-challenged institutions. They are announcing that they have a new “methodology” which is “evidence-based”! I have no idea what this means. Your translations of this heaping pile of crazy are very welcome.

NEW YORK — (Business Wire) — Burson-Marsteller, a leading global public
relations and communications consultancy, announced today it has
adopted a new, data-focused approach to communications called
“Evidenced-Based Communications.” During 2009, Burson-Marsteller
internally rolled out a new firm-wide methodology for developing,
monitoring and measuring communications programs. The approach was
developed by the firm’s most experienced client leaders around the
globe. “The media and communications landscape is changing and so have
the needs of our clients.” said Burson-Marsteller CEO Mark Penn. “In a
world of citizen journalism, social media and instant information
about events happening around the globe, we are investing in a more
diligent and scientific approach to developing and delivering key
messages.” The Evidence-Based approach rests on Burson-Marsteller`s
tradition of thought leadership and research-driven programs. The firm
also plans to work closely on developing Evidence-Based programs with
its sister research firm Penn Schoen Berland, which was co-founded by
Mr. Penn. The Evidence-Based approach is designed to ensure that all
client programs are rooted in data. The approach also monitors
progress throughout the program to make certain that clients achieve
their original objectives. Results are measured to confirm the return
on investment (ROI). The firm launched Evidence-Based Communications
internally with training, seminars and workshops designed to help
staff integrate the approach into their client engagements and new
business proposals. As part of the effort, each Burson-Marsteller
practice will continuously develop Evidence-Based Tools to better
drive strategy and messages with data and measure the final ROI for
clients. The key benefits of Burson-Marsteller`s commitment to the
Evidence-Based approach are:

* Evidence-Based Communications ends the guess work. All
communications strategies are based in evidence, not speculation. * It
delivers better ROI. By using Evidence-Based Communications to develop
programs, the firm is ensuring that each client`s communications
dollars are spent on tactics and messages that will deliver results. *
It is measurable. By using Evidence-Based tools for benchmarking at
the beginning of a program and measuring effectiveness at the end,
clients can demonstrate a positive communications ROI. * The programs
are nimble. Because Burson-Marsteller measures the impact of a
program`s tactics at the beginning, middle and end of program, there
is an opportunity to modify tactics in the middle of a campaign. * It
is a holistic approach to communications. The Evidence-Based approach
is a complete methodology. The approach ensures a thorough use of data
and tools designed specifically to insert science into the process
where appropriate. * It provides proof of PR value to the
organization`s C-Suite. By using an Evidence-Based approach,
communications professionals can demonstrate the value that PR brings
to their organization at large.