Karl Lagerfeld Made This For You

This SpongeBob SquarePants figurine fetched $1,500 at auction in Paris because Karl Lagerfeld perched some specs on it, painted fingerless gloves and attached what I thought was a pharaoh’s postiche but is actually a very rakish plastic tie with a symmetrical windsor knot. Bully.

The money was raised for the WWF which it turns out has nothing to do with wrestling and everything to do with some charity involving a large and supercute panda logo but I don’t think the Stephen Sprouse-ish nod to the “Bob Qui?” is the tack to take especially since “Bob Quoi the Fuck?” really gets to the heart of the matter.

Seriously, is he dreaming exclusively in ugly these days? It’s so embarrassing how doddering and oldtimey it is to trick out SpongeBob, it’s SO Pharrell, SO Nigo, SO Russell Simmons. The Kaiser is now openly pelting us with fistfuls of cudgeled shit from what is seemingly an inexhaustible pile of shit that maybe costs $400,0000 a year to climate control. Let’s do nothing about it.